For years, Abbotsford's Clint Istace could be found either working as a prison guard or in the squared circle as a pro wrestler known as Rage.
He faced typical and often atypical battles in both jobs, but discovered the true war he was having was with himself.
After decades of being in the ring and working in prisons, Istace was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Despite being so strong on the outside as a wrestler, that time in the world of corrections broke him down. He considered suicide at his lowest point.
But after all his issues were highlighted by medical professionals, he decided to put the spotlight on himself. He focused his energy on exercise and began competing in local bodybuilding shows this year.
He's using his platform to teach others how to be active to combat depression and is going back to the one place he thought he'd never return – the professional wrestling ring.
Istace plans to re-enter the squared circle at Abbotsford Agrifair this weekend (Aug. 2 to 4) and prove to others and himself that he can "Rage" against Depression.
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Istace was originally born on the prairies and moved with his family to the Fraser Valley, living in both Chilliwack and Abbotsford.
The pro wrestling bug bit him early.
"Pretty much my earliest memory was watching wrestling on TV with my dad and seeing Andre the Giant and thinking that's the largest human being on the planet," he said. "It was always a childhood dream but I didn't think I was tall enough at 5-7."
That dream became more of a reality when he watched wrestling in person and realized he probably was big enough. He eventually discovered local wrestling and got to know Pacific Northwest legend "Gorgeous" Michelle Starr, who helped train him and break him into the business.
Istace began training in 1999, portraying the character of Grunt in B.C.'s Extreme Canadian Championship Wrestling.
His original character was a sidekick to veteran wrestler Private Todd Kelly and the duo won the ECCW tag team titles in 2001. They held the belts for over five months.
By 2002 the team had split up and Istace was portraying a new character known as Rage, who became a fan favourite.
"The gimmick was basically the little guy who took a beating, but eventually I would rage up or hulk up and snap and lose it," he explained, with a chuckle. "And then I'd make my big comeback."
Rage competed across the Lower Mainland with ECCW, but a major opportunity came about in 2004 when Top Ranked Wrestling was created in Abbotsford.
The promotion was created by Istace and Abbotsford's Todd Fontaine and was based out of the Abbotsford Arts Centre. It proved to be a launching pad of sorts for several nationally recognized wrestlers such as Becky Lynch, Kyle O'Reilly and the Bollywood Boyz, as well as broadcaster Mauro Ranallo.
TRW got a lot of momentum when cameraman and former breaking news videographer Kevin MacDonald secured a TV deal for the promotion with KVOS-TV out of Bellingham. The show aired weekly for several years, but Istace said it didn't work out due to a number of reasons.
"We originally thought we were going to quit our jobs when we got TV," he recalled. "But I'd call people to remind them to come to the shows and they would tell me they'd just watch on TV."
Attendance for the shows plummeted, and the time strain became too much.
"It was hard work because we were promoting five days a week," he said. "We would spend the whole day at the Abbotsford flea market handing out pamphlets. But it eventually became too much for us; just a lot of work with no return. We sold the ring to break even."
ECCW eventually bought TRW and it faded away. Istace said the entire TRW destroyed his passion for wrestling.
"Once I saw what the behind the scenes was like and how much work is involved, it really killed it for me," he said.
He was also suffering from a number of lingering injuries from his time in the ring. Istace counts at least five major concussions and a tear in his neck, a broken arm and a broken hand. He continued wrestling after the death of TRW and had his last official match in 2009.
That was when he began the shift into corrections, which opened up a completely different world of risks and stress for Istace.
He was diagnosed with PTSD early into his career as a prison guard. He said a series of serious incidents, which he prefers not to detail, that occurred when he was a rookie guard rocked him mentally.
"But I never addressed them and they compounded on me," he said. "It wasn't until a few years ago when I went off work that they were addressed. And that's my thing as a man – we never address our mental health as a priority, at least back then. There is more awareness now. That's what I want to do – raise awareness."
Istace said years of working with psychologists and talking about what occurred to him helped transform him. He said one moment with his doctor changed his life.
"She was only really assessing me for work reasons but after one of our sessions, she grabbed me by the arm and said, 'Go exercise,' " he recalled. "She said I need to get back to who I was."
He also developed anxiety and depression, which led to him choosing not to work out as much as he did when he was a wrestler. As a result, he gained weight and the cycle of unhappiness continued.
"I didn't really want to be around people and my coping mechanism was alcohol," he said, admitting he contemplated taking his life.
"I had plans all the time to do it but I never ended up pulling the trigger. Things were so dark for me and I just didn't want to be here. I felt like I had no path ahead for me and everything seemed to overwhelm me."
Spending time in Indigenous healing and working with professionals has helped him manage the ongoing issues. He no longer works in corrections, and the 53-year-old is in the best shape of his life.
He earned two golds in his age class at a recent bodybuilding competition and competed in his first show in March. Next up will be his first time in the wrestling ring in 15 years at Abbotsford Agrifair. Istace said he will officiate a few matches and hopes to wrestle near the end of the weekend.
He now wants to motivate others to talk about their issues and help fight it through exercise. Istace wants to start a YouTube channel called Rage Against Depression and help motivate others to persevere.
"I have a saying: 'Make your comeback greater than your setback,' " he said. "That's what I'm trying to show people through my bodybuilding and now with wrestling. I want to show that once you're beaten downl, then you don't have to stay down."
For more on Istace, follow his Instagram page at instagram.com/clintistace.
